Your love attachment style is the way in which you behave and react, in relationships with a partner, parents, friends, clients etc.
Studies which originated in the 1960’s, show the different types of attachments are rooted from childhood in the ways your parents or caregivers interacted with you (for the most part).
There are 3 main attachment styles..
Secure: You feel connected and secure in yourself and your relationships. You were probably well supported by parents—your core belief system was strong in trust. These people feel more open to have conversations with people they care about.
Avoidant: You might emotionally distance yourself from connection to avoid pain. Your parent (s) might have been distracted, or detached, or abandoned you. You appear as self sufficient, and independent, not needing anyone or anything.
Anxious: You feel clingy, or desperate with people in your life. You might have experienced unpredictable support, controlling behavior—never knowing what to expect from parent. You may over analyze situations, and be demanding.
You can be a mix, too!
Secure: When you run your business, as long as you have systems in place and know what to do, you feel good. You’re not attached to a no you get from a client, and you see projects out. You trust in your clients, and yourself.
Avoidant: you might get overwhelmed + hide. Running from potential business connections that could lead to growth. You keep yourself at a distance. Which leaves you in hustle mode, with strong highs as you jump from idea to idea, leaving before you see it through. You hold up an image of ‘I can do it all’, while also having a lot of conflict on wanting support, connection and help in your business—though when you get it, you feel resistance. Which is why you always like to one up your clients + coaches if you hire them even when value being coachable.
Anxious: you may tend to take the “no’s” you get from potential clients extremely personally. You may feel your worth is attached only to happy/good response from potential and current clients it and without it you may tend to panic, and create stories that aren’t true. You might struggle with your sense of self, which will hinder how you promote yourself and your business. You may notice yourself creating stories around why people aren’t liking or engaging in your work, why someone isn’t emailing you back, and in turn you may become judgmental of them and all of a sudden ‘dislike’ them—even as they remain the at the forefront of your mind.
Understanding your attachment style can begin to bring in more awareness as to why you behave the way you do in business so you can stop repeating patterns and begin to learn what you need to heal the parts of you that were confused, hurt, or let down as a child.
If you’re into learning more, I recommend reading the book, Attached to learn more.
And if you want to know how this plays into your business even more in depth, let me know—happy to answer any questions about this for you.